Self Care: Are We Doing it Wrong?

Post Covid, people all over the world have been doing new things and calling it self care. Whether it be a $200 massage, or a bubble bath at home, the definition of self care has been twisted, altered, and questioned. According to the Washington Post, self care has strayed from the intentions and we may be exaggerating the phrase.

Looking back on self care through the years it is clear that we have become lost in the simplicity of the words rather than the meaning.

History of Self Care

The term self care has origins in medical research but was popularized through activist and writer Audre Lorde. Her collection of essays titled "A Burst of Light" published in 1988 described self care as a way of coping with the personal journey of cancer and the structural trauma of racism. It was less about physically caring for oneself through makeovers and bubble baths, but more about self preservation and the need for a metaphorical oxygen mask to survive.

Since then it has been redefined and popularized in a new way. Unfortunately, it has become something more shallow and artificial. Something that is more simple and physical.

Self Care Today

Today, self care has become a practice associates with consumerism. Self care has become a term associated with dealing with distress in isolation breaking the importance that is support and relationships. Practices such as skin care, hair care, and physical exercise that have been defined to be self care are taking over correcting the true root of a problem. While these things can offer comfort and distraction they often won't affect the core of distress the way in person conversation and human interaction can.

"We live in a society where people take great pride in doing things by themselves, but self care doesn't have to work this way." -Iresha Picot

Changing Self Care

Professor of clinical psychology at Loyola Marymount University Cheryl Grills says, "In the absence of community care, self-care is insufficient." Being sustained through the self and through others is critical to ones wellness. Redefining self care in a way that makes it less about alone time and more about relying on others for support will create a better and more efficient way of self care.

Though important to take care of yourself, perhaps redefine and reword your opportunity at self care. Help the world bring back the intention of self care by those who brought it into the cultural spotlight. We could benefit from thinking about the sustaining emotion through self and relying on others the next time we are in need of care.